How to Reveal Your Unique Unfair Advantage
How to Reveal Your Unique Unfair Advantage
The story of The Cracked Pot
Even if you hate them, your natural traits are your ticket to success in life — your unique and unfair advantage.
But you’re too busy feeling self-conscious about them to (1) see that they’re your gift, and (2) nurture and use them for your benefit.
A lack of confidence and self-understanding can block you from seeing your unfair advantages. You might think things like:
“I’m a people pleaser”
“I’m an overthinker”
“I’m too shy”
Not realising that these are not flaws, you’re just negatively thinking about them. And if you continue along this self-loathing path, resisting who you are and swimming against the current, you’ll be fighting an uphill battle forever.
More effort for less results.
Your unfair advantage is the angle nobody else has, the thing you’re loved for and your medium to change the world through.
“You are a function of what the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is a function of what the whole ocean is doing.” — Alan Watts
This is your role in the universe. You must prioritise uncovering it. And I say “uncovering” because it already exists. It’s lying dormant, waiting to be woken up.
Your unfair advantage is trapped in your “flaws” — waiting to be freed.
The Cracked Pot
An ancient Indian folktale (reworked by Eren Candansayar)
Once upon a time, there was a water-bearer who had two large pots, each hung on either end of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfectly made and always delivered a full portion of water. The other pot had a crack in it, and by the time the water-bearer reached his master’s house, it had leaked half of its water along the way.
For two full years, this went on daily, with the water-bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, being able to deliver a full pot of water every time. But the cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfection, miserable that it could only do half of what it was made to do.
After two years of what it thought was a bitter failure, the cracked pot spoke to the water-bearer one day by the stream.
“I want to apologise to you.”
“Why?” asked the bearer. “What for?”
“I have only been able to deliver half of my load because this crack in my side causes the water to leak out. Because of my flaw, you do all this work, and you don’t get fully rewarded for your efforts,” the pot said.
The water-bearer said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”
As they went up the hill, the old cracked pot noticed the sun warming the beautiful flowers on the side of the path.
The bearer said, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? Do you think I am a fool who cannot get a new pot? I have always known about your flaw, and that is why I chose to keep you. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path. Every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years, I’ve been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he wouldn’t have this beauty to grace his home.”
Moral — Your imperfections are your unfair advantage
“My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents, and I lay them both at His feet.” — Mahatma Gandhi
You haven’t realised that your imperfections are your strengths in disguise:
people-pleasers think they should be less caring — but it’s their incredible compassion that their friends and family love about them
anxious people might feel frustrated by their constant worrying — but their heightened awareness and risk aversion make them great planners, creating safety and structure where others might overlook the details.
overthinkers wish they could stop spiralling in their thoughts — yet, it’s their attention to detail and consideration of others’ feelings that make them incredibly thoughtful friends and valuable problem solvers.
So, they’re not flaws after all, are they?
When you call yourself “imperfect” or “flawed”, who are you comparing yourself to? Flawed relative to what?
You aren’t flawed, you’re just a certain way. Neither good nor bad.
Those are just the traits that define you. Flip them into benefits and you’ve found your unfair advantage.
Self-improvement, or self-acceptance?
Both.
Your deeply rooted personality is different from the traits you can work on.
I will never stop fine-tuning and working on my traits to become a better person. But over the years I’ve learned that you can only stray so far from your deep character without wasting your gifts.
For example, as a kid, I would speak in groups, or ask questions in classrooms a lot. I never felt shy, which meant I blurted things without thinking — often making a fool of myself.
So I developed a hate for my willingness to speak. I hated being a “loudmouth” as I’d call myself.
So, I worked hard on holding my tongue, and thinking before I spoke, and this led to incredible results. I feel more proud of who I am now.
But, I never changed entirely.
Because it’s my willingness to speak up that is my unfair advantage. If I became a quiet person I’d be resisting my natural character.
Instead, I leaned into it.
I started public speaking and running workshops. I learned to accept my natural traits and lean into them more.
Self-improvement is about fine-tuning, rather than completely redesigning.
Never change!
“When the search is over, when we come home to the deepest truth of who we are, we discover that our nature is peace itself.” — Gangaji
To summarise, your natural traits are what people love about you, and what can gift you an incredible life if you lean into them.
I thought talking too much was my “flaw”, but that’s exactly what my friends, family and colleagues enjoy about me.
I thought that I needed to talk less to thrive, but I need to put myself in positions where I can use my natural traits to my advantage.
So ask yourself, what are the things you think are your flaws, that might be your superpowers in disguise?
Instead of thinking “I am flawed” — think — “How can I use my natural traits to my advantage?”
Start to enjoy yourself for who you are. Stop hating on yourself for the traits you were naturally given. These are your innate gifts that others can’t replicate. People read books and practice hard to achieve traits that come to you naturally. So be grateful for them. And craft a life around them.
But at the same time, don’t be afraid to slightly adjust so you can become the best version of yourself.
Once you’re comfortable with your foundation, and you work on adjusting yourself through the years, life will start to become a lot easier. Your destination becomes clearer.
When you live a life in alignment with your natural traits, you get more results out of less effort.
Sincerely,
eren
(PS. If you want some help understanding your natural traits and uncovering your unfair advantage — I have a free guide you can use.)
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I found this very helpful, Eren. Maybe we have cracked pots, but without them, there’d be no flowers. Thank you for sharing.