A Bathroom Break In Berlin - How a Syrian Man and a Helicopter Changed My Life
This was not your average bathroom break…
When you think of travel, you imagine the monuments, the food and the beautiful scenery. The truth is, the real highlight of travel are unexpected moments that really shift your mentality.
Insights from random people from the other side of the world are the real eye-openers and this story really epitomises that.
This was a moment Georgia and I experienced that I couldn’t have expected in a million years - but I feel bless that it happened.
I hope you enjoy, and I hope it touches your soul as it did mine.
A Bathroom Break In Berlin - How a Syrian Man and a Helicopter Changed My Life
As the helicopter flew overhead, he trembled with fear.
The look in his eyes was soft, but broken.
I’d only met this guy minutes ago, but my heart connected with his — was I meant to meet him, was it destiny?
In the space of 10 minutes, he taught me a life lesson that I’ll never forget.
The Setting
Georgia and I had just left Brisbane, Australia to spend 4 months exploring Europe.
First stop, Berlin.
It was May 1st in Berlin, which is a big deal. May Day is a huge city-wide celebration with music setups everywhere, protests (mainly about workers’ rights to my understanding) and partying.
Traditionally, it was the Christian belief that evil beings from the spirit world would meet on the night of April 30. Locals would come together to make bonfires, loud noises, sing and dance to keep away the evil spirits.
Basically, the whole city is on the street on May 1st, making it really hard to use the bathroom.
We walked everywhere looking for a bathroom. In Berlin, there are no public toilets anywhere — you’ll see people urinate in the streets. That wasn’t an option for us, and our situation was getting dire.
We were losing hope, until I peered into what looked like some kind of office reception or university entrance — Cuvry Campus. I looked at Georgia and said:
We have to try.
In we walked. There, sat a slim man with an Arabic complexion and thin dark hair. He was inside a large wrap-around concrete desk in the centre of the room. The room was grey and bare, just a big open space with nothing but the desk and the man. I asked to use the bathroom.
He stood up, looked at us and said:
Normally I can’t…but ok.
We started walking through this beautiful courtyard with a view of the river toward the bathroom, and then it happened.
A frightening helicopter
As we walked through the back courtyard, a helicopter flew over the top of us, we thought nothing of it. But for the helpful man, a different emotion was triggered.
He flinched and put his hands up above his head. We were a bit shocked and confused. He said:
Sorry, I’m from Syria — usually, those would start shooting at me.
I put my hand on his shoulder, I didn’t really know what to say. He continued to escort us to the bathroom, opened the door and told us to take our time.
From the raucous street parties, teenagers drinking, and loud protests to then this silent bathroom intermission room with a lot to process.
After, we walked out into a courtyard area, it was so serene and peaceful with such a beautiful (and private) view of Berlin.
Here, we sat and talked about what the hell just happened — we were still taken aback. How could we be so silly to worry about our trivial problems in life, when this guy is ducking from helicopters?
We’d seen the stories and the news reports about Syria (as well as other tragedies), but when you see someone get frightened like that up close — your soul melts a little bit.
I wanted to know more, I wanted a deeper insight into this mysterious man’s mind. It was clear he’d lived through sadness and heartbreak, but still had so much positivity and zest for life.
I knew he wasn’t done changing my life, and I was right.
I asked him what his name was, that’s a start.
My name is Ammar.
A Syrian man’s best friend
He was reserved at first but started to open up the more we spoke. I got the feeling he didn’t get asked about himself much.
He was an interesting man with lots of experience in different cultures from around the world. He’d lived in lots of places since leaving Syria, he even spoke a bit of Turkish to me — he’d spent some time in Istanbul.
He started to talk about his time in Berlin, his words surprised me.
It is very lonely, the people do not do things for each other for the sake of it, but only for something in return. But, I thank God I have my Farah, and a good job.
Farrah — maybe a friend, girlfriend, or sister? But as if this guy couldn’t get any cuter, he got out his phone and showed us hundreds of pictures and videos of a parrot. For the first time, I saw his face light up with joy — I couldn’t help but smile.
After showing us his best friend, Ammar went deeper on the topic of companionship.
The most important thing in the world
He’d lived in many places, and seen many different cultures and ways of life.
Ammar started talking about ‘good people’. His opinion was that you should do good for people, without expecting anything in return — he didn’t find this was the case in many places.
Coming from war-torn Syria, we understood his frustration. He’s seen the worst first-hand, the people in these privileged countries have no idea what help means, and no idea what a good situation is.
He spoke so passionately and with such confusion. Why don’t we all just help each other, why don’t we just show support without expecting a favour in return?
He changed my perspective on the power of relationships. We have this idea in the modern world that happiness will come from material possessions and success, but what Ammar said next reminded me of what true value is:
It doesn’t matter where you sleep, what matters is having good people around you.
I forget to appreciate my family and friends. Having quality people in your life is something to cherish, not take for granted. The backbone of life is community — something I’d forgotten until now. It’s not something you think about if your social life is clicking, so hearing him talk about loneliness was eye-opening.
For millions of years, life has evolved in packs — humans especially. It’s only a recent concept that we can live in isolation from people. Face-to-face connection is a blessing — never take it for granted. Even if it’s with a parrot.
Bless that Arabic-speaking parrot.
An unexpected, but beautiful, reminder
I don’t believe in destiny in the sense that you are meant to end up in some pre-determined picturesque situation, and then you go on to arrive there. I believe that life is full of yes/no forks in the road, and if you follow your heart and intuition, you end up carving out a life that perfectly reflects who you are.
Saying yes to the idea of walking into that concrete room provided a much-needed lesson for Georgia and me. That decision had a profound impact on us, one that we would’ve never gotten without taking the yes path at that fork in the road.
Ammar made me go from feeling like I didn’t have much, and that I was bored in my office job — to feeling like I was blessed in my life to not get shot at, to have a stable income (as well as the opportunity to pursue my passions), and to have love around me.
When I walked into that room looking for a bathroom, I could’ve never imagined the conversation I was about to have, and the lessons I was about to learn.
As we were leaving, he handed us two chocolates — they were Polish I think, his aunty had sent them. After all this talk of helping and sharing without expecting anything in return, he left us with two little chocolates — poetic.
And that is the story of how a Syrian man, a helicopter, and needing to use the bathroom on May 1st in Berlin, changed my life.
Thank you for reading. Without you reading, the message I’m passionate about flows into the ether. I just want to share what I learned with more people
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I wish I could’ve given past me these kinds of mindset shifts, so I’m trying to reach as far and wide as I possibly can. Please share this post with someone who you think might enjoy it too.
Until next week,
Eren
