A Truth That'll Relieve Anxiety and Propel You Forward In Life
One simple idea changed my life forever
Personal Note
Yesterday was my 26th birthday (For those of you that follow me on Instagram - you can skip this next passage)
I think this last year has been my biggest delta.
I felt like a confused boy a year ago, being thrown around in the rough seas.
Now I feel like I've settled, I feel like the waves as the slide in and meet the sand. I see my friends less, but I feel like my relationships are strangely even deeper now.
My sister's get older and our hearts approach each other. My relationship with my Mum is so sweet, and I feel my soul taking over my Dad's wisdom. My relationship with my beautiful partner is blossoming like flowers in the spring and my relationship with myself is healing.
I write this to put my thoughts and energy out into the ether, I find it meditative to share. I believe that energy can be passed through words and I'd like the positivity to reach who it may.
Weeping may endureth for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. - Psalms 30
The Player
I used to think that I created my thoughts — that they were a reflection of me.
I was wrong.
You can discard thoughts, labels and ideas based on your morals.
Your ideas are like all the toys in a claw machine and you grab the ones you want — you didn’t choose the toys that were put in there, but you did decide which one you identified with.
Thoughts come from the universal consciousness that we’re all a part of — your uniqueness comes from which ones you decide align with your morals, not from the thoughts you have.
Call to the Void
The ‘Call to the Void’ phenomenon is the perfect example of this
Have you ever been driving and thought about swerving into oncoming traffic? Or maybe had the urge to scream as loud as you can on a crowded bus?
French philosopher, Jean-Paul Sartre says:
Our identity is defined by our actions: one is a kind person because they do kind deeds.
Our identity is only as limited as the capacity of our actions.
People are just as capable of doing bad things as they are of doing good ones; the difference is in the choices they make.
And it’s these endless choices — the decision to jump off a cliff, for example — that feed into an existential questioning of identity.
The player and the observer
Let’s use the analogy of a video game to explain where I’m going.
You know when you play a video game and the little character is running around doing what you tell it?
Thinking that you create the thoughts, and that everything happens to you, is like saying you ARE the character in the game.
The reality is, you’re the player — the person with the controller.
You’re a part of this mysterious consciousness and this body is your little character in the video game of life.
Say you’re in a good mood — everything that happens seems so lucky!
If you’re in a bad mood — everything is so cruel and the chips are against you.
All the events that are unravelling throughout the day are just events — without positive or negative attached to them.
This is great news for us.
You, the observer and the interpreter, are the one who decides how to interpret them.
Tell your human avatar that you want to stay dry — you’ll be miserable when the first raindrop hits your skin.
Tell your human avatar that it’s not so bad to get rained on and that a little water could be fun right now — you’ll be happy when it rains.
You’re way more in control than you think — you just have to realise it.
Labels and the curses they bring
Be cautious of latching onto labels — they’re self limiting.
You’re not ‘a depressed person’, you have just been experiencing depression recently due to your circumstances.
There’s always a way to change, the script isn’t pre-written.
You’re not born fat, nor are you born skinny.
You’re not born an angry person, nor are you born a calm one.
You might be pre-disposed to be angry due to a stressful upbringing, but you have the capacity to change it.
You get to write your own script — that’s the beauty of this.
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my adult life, and as the diagnosis number continues to climb, it raises the question of whether or not it’s due to our environment just as much as genetics.
I refused medication and instead work on limiting my distractions and working on my limitations.
I believe our brains are plastic in that they can be moulded over time based on our decisions.
You can overcome anything with enough belief —the placebo effect is proof of this.
***
When you’re playing a video game, you don’t identify with the feelings your character embodies — you can see what’s happening logically.
Instead of “I’m an anxious person” use “I’ve been feeling anxious”.
Then, find the steps to a solution and implement them.
It all starts in the mind, you have the power to make the change you’ve always wanted to make.
Write your script—don’t let it be written for you.
I’ve decided to scrap the music section as well.
I feel this platform makes sense for the writing. I do share a song everyday on my twitter account @erenelsewhere if you’re interested in that.
***
Thank you for reading this week’s instalment - it really means a lot that you guys read and get back to me with your thoughts.
I also post an article every morning on Medium - the newsletter is generally comprised of ideas I’ve put there throughout the week.
Like I said in the opening paragraph, I find sharing my thoughts into the ether so meditative and a thought experiment for myself.
The fact that you guys latch onto my ideas and pick them up in your claw machine means the world - thank you again.
Sincerely,
Eren ‘The Claw’ Elsewhere
Love your words as always. The way you describe your family is so poetic.
I’d like to add another perspective to “it all starts in the mind”, having experienced a brutal amount of anxiety in the last 12 months.
It definitely helps to know you are not your thoughts, and yep - the video game analogy is spot on.
But what I’ve learned about anxiety is that in an anxious state, I don’t actually have access to the rational part of my brain that can remind me of this. It’s like remembering a dream. In the height of panic, I know there is something I should be thinking, but my brain has left the building. I call it going offline. It’s a protection mechanism installed as the original software for survival. The nervous system switches off all sense, and instead dials up the fight flight freeze.
I can not think my way out of it.
At this point, the only focus should be to get back online. To get my brain back in the room.
In my experience, no amount of thinking can get the job done. Because I’m fighting against centuries of evolution.
There is only one answer for me…. The body. Listening to my body has been the biggest game changer circuit breaker in the whole universe of anxiety.
The body knows what to do.
A classic example…my body has a physical response to anxiety of shaking. I used to think I could think my way out of that experience. It would prolong it. The shaking would amplify. I would fight against it. “Come on!! This isn’t real!” I would think… to no avail.
Until the wild suggestion came that if my body wants to shake, I should just shake alongside it.
Whaaaat. Totally wild idea.
So that’s what I would do. I would consciously amplify the shaking. I’d get up and go full shake! Like “ok, let’s do this together”. And low and behold, the episodes got shorter. Less frequent. I joined my body in what it needed to do and we became anxiety buddies. My Partner would call me “shakey Mc shake face” and we’d laugh about the fact I would just have to go over here and shake a bit…
The mind is a brilliant tool, and I’ve been operating from it for decades. And highly recommend the art of thinking…But the game changer has been to pay attention to my body…it knows what to do every time.