Defeat Your Greatest Enemy: A Guide To Easily Overcome Anxious Thoughts
Create a logical, calm and collected mind by understanding your greatest enemy
Good morning everyone, I’m scheduling this for Sunday morning in Australia. The reason it’s a couple days late is I’ve been having issues with my laptop’s wifi. I think it’s due to the country code.
I’m writing this from the quaint town of Porto, Portugal.
I’ll be writing about my travels separately on another website. I’ll include the links in next week’s newsletter. What I will say is that travelling brings a world of things going wrong. It can lead to small, intrusive thoughts that take you out of the moment. But we’ve been reminding ourselves that by thinking the thoughts through - you can stay in the present.
It spurred this article, an article on defeating the anxiety that we all face - on small and large scales.
I hope you enjoy it and I know it’ll get you one step closer to a resilient mind.
Defeat Your Greatest Enemy: A Guide To Easily Overcome Anxious Thoughts
Anxiety.
The worried thoughts, the constant internal chatter, the unwillingness to do things you want to do — your mind becomes a big melting pot of concern and fear.
You can’t think clearly, and your head is full of noise. Trying to think logically is like looking through glasses of the wrong prescription.
If you do nothing, the enemy grows. Anxiety runs wild and you live a life in which you never did what you knew you were capable of.
Understand your enemy, accept it and overcome it. Only then, will you be able to live your life to your potential.
What are anxious thoughts?
Anxious thoughts began as a way to protect us from dangerous situations. We’re anxious in the dark because it’s uncertain what lies within it — there could be a lion waiting for you.
For people reading this article on a laptop or phone, there’s no lion in the dark. Our anxiety is based on more trivial things — socialising, money, success.
Anxiety is a little security cushion to stop you from getting into trouble — but with a catch. Anxious thoughts stop you from doing what you want in life, tackling barriers and achieving greatness. They stop you from breaking through your comfort zone.
You need to understand anxiety and be able to identify when it’s approaching, so you can skillfully navigate your way through it.
The 3-Step Approach to Defeating Anxiety
Step 1. Follow the thought through
The first step to beating these thoughts is to make sure they’re a legitimate concern in the first place.
Anxious thoughts are generally short thoughts. They’re not logical — they haven’t been sat with and ridden through to the end. There’s never a solution, only the problem.
A normal anxious thought, when followed through, becomes a silly worry — a trivial concern. Most problems can be fixed by sitting down with a pen and paper and clearly outlining the thing that’s ruining your day, and following the thought through.
When people tell me they’re feeling anxious, I ask them to follow the thought through. Think about what would happen if your anxious thought came true, and what solution you’d need to solve that worst-case scenario.
Some examples:
I’m afraid to speak on stage.
Why are you afraid? Are you afraid people will judge you? If they judge you and think you’re terrible, what happens? Nothing.
If anything, they’re more likely to empathise with you and remember that they used to be bad at public speaking, rather than to think down on you.
Even if they did think down on you, it’s irrelevant, it’s their opinion — and anyone thinking down on someone who’s nervous about public speaking is someone whose opinion you shouldn’t honour anyway.I’m at a dead-end job, my life is headed in a downward spiral
Ok, so you don’t like what you do. What don’t you like? What do you like? What could you change that will help correct your direction? Try something new, something that might tick your boxes.
Are you really working for the money or do you want peace? If you want peace, go do something you find meaningful and see how your life goes.
So, in the first example, we used the ‘following through to the end’ principle to ease irrational thoughts.
In the second example, we used the same principle to come up with a solution (or at least some direction) instead of ruminating on a problem.
Step 2. Embrace the unknown
We worry more in imagination than in reality
— Seneca
Always keep in mind that you don’t actually know what will happen.
Getting up and speaking in public, even if you’re bad at it, might land you a great opportunity. Maybe someone in the crowd remembers how they used to get nervous and decided to give you a go. Maybe you motivate someone else who’s scared to public speak, to give it a shot.
As much as we think we know the outcome, we never do.
Story
I had a job lined up to work as a mining engineer — I never really wanted it, but it was the only thing I was able to string together. I had a company I really wanted to work for called WSP, but they had 500 applicants for one job. Then, I broke my foot.
On top of the surgery to repair the foot, I couldn’t work in mining anymore — it was a huge blow to my potential career. No job, broken foot, no direction.
Then, I got a text. It was a lady named Jamie who worked at WSP — we’d met for coffee a couple of times and the text said:
Want an interview?
I thought losing that first job was the end of me. I got anxious and concerned and I was constantly worried about not being able to work this mining job — meanwhile, a bad injury came with a silver lining. That job led to writing opportunities, which led to me discovering this passion and sharing my thoughts with you.
The point is, you never know what outcome you’ll land at how it’ll affect you. So stop trying to know — you don’t.
As much as you think you know how your life will go if x,y and z happen — you don’t. Accept that. You don’t know if you public speak, it’ll go badly. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t.
To keep your anxiety at bay, let yourself experience the unknown. Don’t guess what’ll happen, there are too many variables for that. Just do your best and see what comes of it.
Speak on stage. Say hello to that stranger. Step out of your comfort zone. You don’t know what’ll come of it — and frankly, it doesn’t matter. Your life will unfold how it does, and that’ll be your unique story. Why are you trying to predict it?
Step 3. Turn anxiety into excitement
Lastly, the secret weapon.
The ability to turn anxiety into excitement. Reframing your mind is a skill more potent than any other, and this one is especially significant.
Being nervous is actually just being excited in disguise. You know when you’re nervous before something big, your palms sweat and you get all giddy? Well, think about what happens when you’re excited. Your palms sweat and you get all giddy.
When you’re about to speak in public and you feel yourself getting nervous, convince yourself that you’re actually excited — you want it to go well which is why your adrenaline is spiking. Ride it, use it. Be excited, not scared. This positive reframing will make a profound difference in your life.
Keep this mental reframe in your arsenal for use in any moment, and you'll become unrecognisable to yourself. The things you were scared to do in the past, will now be things you’re excited to overcome. Your anxiety will whither away and be replaced with positive confidence.
In Summary
Step 1. Follow the thought through to filter out the ones that aren't even worth worrying about
Step 2. Embrace the unknown - you don't know the significance and relevance of any events, so abandon what you think you know.
Step 3. Reframe anxiety into excitement.
And just like that, you're on the road to defeating anxiety. Of course, it's a complex emotion with lots more reasons behind it, but this is a great start for anyone who wants to take that first step.
Small wins will contribute to building up the confidence to tackle bigger challenges and take more significant personal steps. The muscle it takes to speak in front of a crowd is the same muscle it takes to face life's biggest challenges. Overcome the small anxieties consistently to develop an ability to overcome the large ones.
DISCLAIMER: If you die by Lion attack I accept no responsibility.
Thank you gor reading. Without you reading, the message I’m passionate about flows into the ether. I just want to share what I learned with more people
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I wish I could’ve given past me these kinds of mindset shifts, so I’m trying to reach as far and wide as I possibly can. Please share this post with someone who you think might enjoy it too.
Until next week,
Eren
Really like it, thanks for the good advices