Don’t Mistake a Bad Day For a Bad Life

Our feelings are not always a true reflection of reality

Photo by Ryan Stone on Unsplash

On this particular night, I was feeling negative about life.

Unmotivated, upset, self-conscious, nervous. I felt like I had no real prospects, and no future. I felt timid — scared of a few looming decisions in my life. I felt that people liked me less, and that life was pointless.

I wonder, do you ever feel this way? Like some days everything is good. You have goals, ambitions and motivation, but the next, everything feels blue. Your confidence, ambition, gone.

I went to bed.

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In the morning, I was back to normal.

Interesting. I must’ve just been tired — I thought to myself.

It reminded me that your negative/sad feelings are not necessarily truthful reflections of what’s actually happening, but an indication that your environment/situation is not ideal.

Maybe your entire life doesn’t need fixing, you don’t need to panic and hit the big red button.

Maybe you just need to reset.

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I really hope you decide to keep reading, this is genuinely one of the most transformative concepts I’ve implemented in my life. It has improved my relationships with my loved ones, my relationship with myself, given me the ability to produce better work and add more value to the world in general.

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The Two Travellers

Two travellers were lost in a dense forest. As night fell, the first traveller panicked. He convinced himself that they were doomed, that the path was impossible to find, and that they would never make it home. He sat down and refused to move.

The second traveller, though tired and uncertain, reminded himself that things would look different in the morning. He found a tree to rest under and slept soundly.

When the sun rose, the path ahead was clear. The traveller who had slept got up and easily found the way out, while the other, exhausted and hopeless, had spent the whole night making things worse in his mind.

Good conditions are crucial for optimal functionality (2 steps to understand yourself and function better)

“Your mood is not always a reflection of reality; sometimes, it’s just a reflection of your blood sugar levels.”

When your body does not have optimal conditions, your mind can’t function optimally.

When it’s too cold, we must warm up. When it’s too hot, we must cool down. And when we’re too tired, we must rest.

It doesn’t make sense to become upset and frantic about how cold you are, your best play is to stay calm and focus on finding warmth. It’s the same for me when I don’t sleep — my best play is to stay calm and be patient for when I have my reset.

But it’s very important for your future success that you deeply understand yourself, analyse the patterns and learn how to reset.

Two steps to learning about your own optimal functionality:

Step 1 — find the patterns

Once you can spot the things that trigger you, upset you, or make you act differently — you can address them.

My advice is to be open-minded. People will generally tell you what they notice about you — don’t resist. My family told me about my tired negativity for years, but I resisted. Once I met Georgia and she told me the same, I started to consider that it might be true.

Pay attention to what your loved ones think — and what you think.

When you’re not feeling great, sit down with a journal and run through some possibilities in your head. The important part is to remain calm and analytical.

Step 2 — alter your environment (or at least be aware of it)

If you’re aware you don’t function well in the cold, you’d know to pack a warm coat. And if you learn that you don’t function well on little sleep, you’d start to prioritise sleep.

Simple.

But I’m not so naive to say that we can always get a good night’s sleep, or our environment can always be perfect. In that scenario you just need to be aware that your attitude may be compromised, and act accordingly.

For example, when I notice my negative mood is connected to lack of sleep, I do a few things:

• when I have negative thoughts, I remind myself they stem from my tiredness — I don’t read into them too much

• I try to take it easy that day — I know I’m not at 100% so I won’t do things that require a lot of processing power

• I try to stay quiet — I know I’m more likely to say something I don’t mean

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And that’s pretty much it.

Like I said earlier, this has completely changed my life.

A down day doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. It’s just that I’ve strayed from optimal conditions and my brain is not functioning at 100%.

Do you see how powerful this realisation is? I rarely feel sad anymore because I know there is always a root cause, an explanation.

Sometimes it’s not the environment. Sometimes bad things do happen and they get us down, and that’s cool.

But don’t be fooled into thinking you’re sad when you’re just deficient in something.

Whether it is lack of sleep, lack of sun, lack of good nutrition — there is usually a reason you don’t feel so good.

A bit of self-understanding and pattern recognition goes a long way to help separate the real sadness from the deficient sadness.

A final message:

“Emotions are like waves. Watch them rise and fall without being dragged under.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh

Sincerely,

eren

Follow me on Substack and LinkedIn for short bursts of motivation and peace, and to follow along on my journey of creating the world’s best in-person mindset workshop.

image of author captured by aceslog