Envy Steals Your Joy and Hides Your Strengths
The story of the Envious Peacock
In a lush forest, a peacock — admired for its stunning feathers — grew envious of the nightingale’s beautiful singing.
It lamented to a wise sage, asking why it was denied such a gift. The sage replied, “Find joy in what you have rather than longing for what you lack.”
All this time, the peacock was so focused on its shortcomings, it wasn’t able to feel confident in its strengths.
Why do you focus on what they have and what you lack?
This is not a fair test, and it negatively skews your perception of yourself, while romanticising what others have.
You think they can do no wrong, and that you can do no right.
Thinking this way lowers your self-confidence — a major issue. Because low self-confidence creates a negative tint that shrouds your life.
You create an illusion that you have less than others and need more.
“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
— Seneca
Once you understand this self-deprecating pattern, and change how you think, you’ll create a whole new version of yourself — a richer you.
You’ll feel better, be more respected and feel ‘luckier’ in life. You’ll do more meaningful things and make a bigger impact on the world.
And it starts with recognising that you’re just like the peacock who has its own beauty.
How to Become Happier, Luckier and Stronger
“When you realize your own worth, the world will reflect it back to you.”
— Rumi
It starts with understanding yourself and your strengths.
Just like you envy others, reflect on yourself from a third-person perspective and identify your strengths.
Find your unfair advantage in life.
Everyone has strengths. If you don’t know what yours are, you’ve probably just not had the confidence and perspective to think about them.
What are you good at? What are your natural gifts? What comes easy to you?
(PS. If you want some help understanding your natural traits and uncovering your unfair advantage — I have a free guide you can use)
Now, once you’ve figured that out, keep them in your holster, ready to use at any moment.
Because moments of envy and weakness are inevitable — so you need a tool to pull you out.
What you’re going to do is reach in and grab out those strengths whenever you feel yourself envying someone else or putting yourself down. A thought along the lines of:
Yes, he’s better at detail-thinking than me, but that doesn’t mean I’m broken or worse. I am strong in big-picture thinking. We’re different and could even complement each other.
You’re not devaluing the strength of the other. The key is to disarm the unfair negative position you put yourself in, to derail the non-existent “better” and “worse” that we create in those moments of comparison.
Your self-confidence and strengths are like a permanent lifeline to pull yourself out of the quicksand that is negative and envious thoughts.
Positivity is the key to self-confidence, and self-confidence is the key to a good life
The self-confidence you cultivate through keeping your strengths front of mind will complete change your life.
It’ll make you happier and more secure in your skin
It’ll make you do better quality work because you do it with confidence
It’ll allow you to start contributing to the world in more meaningful and efficient ways because you understand/appreciate your strengths — and lean into them
So dig into the self-understanding — observe your strengths and frequently remind yourself of them.
Avoid putting yourself down in these comparisons. Appreciate others for their strengths, but don’t let them blind you from your own.
Sincerely,
eren
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