Happiness Takes Practice

The deliberate daily practice of being joyful

You don’t magically become optimistic. You work on it. You notice yourself being sad and snap out of it. You do that again and again until it’s second nature.

Most people do not understand this and have not worked on it, and that is stopping them from experiencing the happiness they deserve.

Painting by Nathan Windsor

I was facilitating a workshop about positive thinking — about breaking down our goals to make every inch of progress feel like a mile.

During the group discussion, I asked the everyone for their goals — expecting more traditional answers like "Become a better engineer", or "Get a promotion", but Isobel's response caught me off guard:

"I’m trying to be more optimistic."

I’d never thought of it that way.

Her moment of self-reflection made the room stop and think for a moment.

Maybe happiness is not a state you find yourself in, not gifted at birth.

One could be born into wealth, power, safety, love and or other beneficial situations, but feeling good and enjoying life is acquired — reserved for those who work at it.

And ever since, I have thought about optimism this way.

The practice of optimism changes how you experience everything. Missing a bus becomes time to enjoy the sun, the birds and the air. Criticism becomes fuel for self-reflection.

Life is more colourful when viewed through an optimistic lens — and lucky us, you can train it.

The Laughing Buddha and His Secret to Happiness

A Zen tale inspired by the life of Budai, a 10th-century Chinese monk

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One day, a group of villagers gathered around Budai, curious about his endless laughter and joy. Someone asked,
"Master, why are you always so happy?"

Budai chuckled, his round belly shaking, and replied,
"Because I choose to be."

Another villager, unsatisfied, pressed further,
"But how can we choose happiness? Life is full of suffering!"

Budai simply smiled and said,
"Happiness is not something you find—it is something you practice. Every moment, you have a choice: to focus on joy or on misery. I practice happiness, and so I am happy."

Then he let out another booming laugh, slung his sack over his shoulder, and continued on his way, leaving the villagers in contemplation.

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The Practice of Directing Your Attention for a More Enjoyable Life

"Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day."
— Henri Nouwen

In every moment, there is a choice to respond positively or negatively.

Every time you choose the positive path, you’re making teeny-tiny turns to the tuning knob of your guitar, and the string sounds more and more beautiful the closer you get.

Those small, consistent adjustments eventually create harmony.

When you choose the positive path, not only does your enjoyment in that moment skyrocket, but it strengthens your ability to choose the positive path again and again. And then one day, after relentless work in being optimistic, you will find that you don’t need to work on it so hard anymore — in fact, it’s second nature. Your problems in life don’t seem so large anymore. The rough seas of life turn into calm waters that you can move through easily and peacefully.

But the opposite is also true. Every time you succumb to the negative and pessimistic part of your brain, the colour begins to fade from life.

You experience what you believe, so believe it’s all good.

Choose to see the bright side in every moment.

Be careful not to beat yourself up when you feel negative but instead to focus on catching yourself when you do, and practice flipping your thinking.

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This directive is not — Just be happy — it’s about being positive on a micro-scale until you are positive on a macro scale. It’s about working at it in every moment until it’s not something you practice, but something you are.

I started by telling myself missing the bus gave me a chance to listen to more music.

What small moment today could be your first deliberate practice of optimism?

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Sincerely,

eren

Follow me on Substack and LinkedIn for short bursts of motivation and peace, and to follow along on my journey of creating the world’s best in-person mindset workshop.

image of author captured by aceslog