Most People Die With Regret. Here’s Where They Go Wrong
A 2-word weapon to conquer regret
If you were killed on your drive home today — would you be satisfied with how you’ve lived up until this point?
Would you die peacefully or wish you had a little longer to clean up some unfinished business?
Could you say with your hand on your heart that you’ve:
seized every opportunity life’s given you?
have no outstanding grudges or arguments with loved ones?
did your best in every aspect of life, leaving absolutely nothing on the table?
I hope death is as far away as possible for you — but you just don’t know when the Grim Reaper will call your name.
It could happen at any moment — and you have to be ready for it.
You have to be comfortable that you have no unfinished business — this is how you can die peacefully.
Being ready to die is the secret to living at peace.
Don’t let ego, pride or laziness put you in a position where you’ll die with regret.
I use a 2-word mantra to close all the loops in my life, to be ok with death whenever it comes — and I hope it can help you too.
The U-turn that changed my life
“Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” — Ephesians 4:26–27 (NIV)
I stormed out and slammed the door behind me.
I didn’t say goodbye, hug my sister or kiss her on the forehead like I usually do.
I was agitated.
Ela and I deeply understand each other. We’re like the same colour, but a different hue — so this argument was rare for us.
As I drove away, angry and frustrated thoughts were swirling around my mind.
I wanted to get as far away as possible.
But as I drove up Denham Street, the fog of frustration began to disperse and I asked myself a question that’d change the trajectory of my life:
If I die on the way home, will I be satisfied with my last interaction with Ela being an argument?
I came up with a two-word motto:
NO QUALMS.
From now on, I will close all of the existing loops in my life, and leave no new ones open either.
If I live my life with no qualms, I can be comfortable dying because I know I’d have no loops that needed closing — I have no unfinished business.
I’m ready to die at any moment knowing I’ve done all I could.
I spun the car around and went back.
I knocked on the door and Ela answered — I told her I was sorry, and she said the same.
We hugged and I kissed her on the forehead — like I usually do.
It’s funny, I don’t even remember what we argued about — and that’s the nature of these ridiculous open loops in our lives.
They are usually distractions from peace that we’ve placed upon ourselves.
The silent killers of a great life are:
the pride and the ego that prevents us from healing relationships and,
the fear of embarrassment that prevents us from taking risks and seizing opportunities
Don’t let this be so any longer.
Have the strength to close the loops.
Close the loops
“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.” — Lewis Carroll
We use a line in basketball to be happy with any outcome:
Leave it all out on the court.
That is to say: I will not lose because of lack of effort. I will do everything I can to help the team — and I’m willing to live with any result.
In life, we have to leave everything out on the court so that when we “lose”, we can be content:
Don’t leave any stone unturned — explore your curiosity and give things a go
Don’t live with grudges — forgive others for your own benefit
Close every single loop so there is not even a hint of regret at the end.
Summary — your final moments
“When we die, our bodies disintegrate. But if we have lived well, the love we have given and the compassion we have shown will endure and bring peace to us and those around us."
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Picture two chalices in your mind — these can summarise your final moments:
The Chalice of Contentment — the feelings of gratitude, love and pride. Feeling thankful for the blessings you received, for the people in your life and for the things you achieved or contributed to
The Chalice of Regret — the feelings of resistance and sorrow. Mourning the loops you didn’t close, the relationships you didn’t nurture and the opportunities you didn’t seize
A life of peace and contentment is when Chalice 1 is full, and Chalice 2 is empty — this is leaving it all out on the court.
But a life of regret and sorrow is the opposite.
No matter how close you are to death, there is time to fill up the Chalice of Contentment and empty the Chalice of Regret.
Whenever you’re at a crossroads, remember the two words:
NO QUALMS.
And let them swing your decision in favour of peace and contentment.
Sincerely,
eren
If you’ve made it this far — thank you so much and I hope you found it valuable.
Can you relate to having open loops? Will you now try and close them? I’m interested to see if our experiences line up — and hope my lessons learned can help you.
PS. If you want to turn your thoughts and ideas into tangible and real content that will last for generations, I have a free video on my website on how I sit down to write these articles — all I ask is that you consider subscribing :)
Well said. And such an excellent prescription for a life well lived.
It resonates, I can relate n I can die anytime too! 🙏😊