My Own Unconscious Beliefs Were Blocking Me from a Better Life
…until a change of heart made me a more unique thinker
I’ve been so attached to my beliefs that I was closed off to what’s best for me.
These beliefs and ideologies are so deeply embedded that you and I can’t see them anymore.
Ideas, routines and processes I’ve been arbitrarily taught became hills I would die on.
But a few things in my life have led to a life-changing thought:
If I continue thinking this way, I will continue being this way…
What if the things I “know”, systems I practice and beliefs I hold dear to me…aren’t true or beneficial?
And what if those very beliefs are preventing me from opening my heart to more ideas and different ways of life?
Am I so ignorant that I believe everything I currently think and do is the best way for me?
No. Surely, I’m not ignorant! I’m just…unaware.
But is there a difference between unaware and ignorant? If I’m unwilling to accept that my beliefs may be false or unhelpful — I’m choosing ignorance.
So maybe I should open my mind to see possibilities I’m not yet aware of, or question what I currently think to see a different perspective.
Maybe I should accept the fact that even if an idea is so foreign to me, and seems so wrong:
I do not know what I do not yet know.
Because I already know what happens if I go from A → Z… but what’d happen should I go from Z → A?
An engineering inspection that opened my mind
I’m the site representative for a TESLA battery about 40 minutes from Brisbane.
I was in my high-vis gear, ready to inspect the site’s external drainage. The big boss was there too… and sorry to disappoint, it wasn’t Elon.
Wes is tall and has salt-and-pepper hair. I like Wes. He’s kind and gentle but has a stern aura about him (as every good boss does).
As everyone geared up to start the inspection from point A to point Z, he came to me and said:
“Let’s start from the back. Something different.”
He knew that everyone was prepared to go from A → Z, but to get a fair test, he decided to go Z → A.
All the focus had been on the main area — they wanted to get that right. Which, for the record, is exactly what I would’ve done.
But the back area was equally weighted, and he knew it would’ve had less attention paid to it.
I would’ve never considered starting at Z like Wes did. That thought wouldn’t have entered my mind.
But it was a completely rational approach and frankly made no difference whether you start at A or Z — so why was it so foreign to me?
It was ingrained into my brain to start at A — I’d never considered an alternative.
So it got me thinking:
What else have I not considered?
“As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance.”
— John Archibald Wheeler
I get caught up in believing that what I think is true — I think we all do.
When I was overweight, I was certain it was my genetics and hormone imbalances — and I mean certain.
I even had a hormone test done which indicated normal levels, and I was convinced the test was inaccurate…
This is the level of delusion I used to justify my arbitrary beliefs.
And after a gruelling weight loss journey, the biggest hurdle was not calories, exercise or anything like that.
It was admitting that it was my fault — that the beliefs I held, and the information I was using, were not positively contributing to my goal.
And so now I refuse to die on a hill — because I would’ve wrongly died on that one.
And just as I was wrongly certain about my body during the weight loss process, I could be wrong about anything.
I was once certain that God didn’t exist — and I’m not sure where I stand right now — but the more I think about it, there’s just as strong an argument for and against the existence of God.
And I never would’ve noticed had I not been open to the idea.
Maybe it’d benefit my life to believe in God — or maybe it wouldn’t.
I will only know if I’m open to being wrong, and experimenting with which beliefs make me feel good — not just latching onto the belief I picked up first.
Embrace how little you know
“The real power is embracing how little we know, and to live in wonder.“
— Rick Rubin
If I go through life latched onto ideas and ignorant to new perspectives — chances are I’ll end up bitter, narcissistic and closed off to so much beauty.
And I don’t want that — do you?
I want to reach my potential. I want to feel more love. I want to be a better friend, brother, son and partner.
A better Eren.
And I want you to be better too — I want you to reach your potential.
So I have some advice for you if you’d like it — some small actions to help question your belief systems and find what aligns with your soul:
When you listen to a new band, start from the “worst” album.
When arguing with your partner or friend, be open to the possibility that you are wrong — or that there’s something valid you cannot see yet.
If you are annoyed at someone, think about their positive traits — you may have unfairly latched on to the negatives.
Anytime you feel certain about something, deeply analyse the counterargument.
Just alter your thinking.
Because nothing is truly right or wrong — you can only find the ideas and beliefs that are most useful to you.
It’s like Buddha says:
“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.” — Buddha
So don’t rely on someone else’s compass to tell you east and west.
Embark on the never-ending journey.
Question everything until you find beliefs that you resonate with — and then question them again!
You never know what beauty you’ve been blocking yourself from.
Thank you for reading!
I’m Eren and I use stories from experiences in my life to explain self-improvement — and how you can change your life by changing your thoughts.
PS. Thank you Dara for telling me to write about myself more — this week’s newsletter has been one of the most cathartic experiences since I first started writing. And I hope that energy comes out through the words.
And if you want to learn to write articles like this one — I have a free guide here: How to turn ideas in your head into articles that could change the world.
— eren
Very good observations. Age invariant. For the old, it is the habits that need to dump.
Our beliefs may not exist in our minds as explicit prepositions. They maybe so implicit in our thinking that we are hardly aware of them at all, yet they clearly lie behind our actions.