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Living Authentically for Your Best Life | Music and Content recommendations
Good morning!
Let’s skip the weather chat and “livin’ the dream” comments and get straight into the meat and potatoes.
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My Thoughts This Week
Be Yourself.
Now, bear with me…
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When I was younger, my top priority was to be liked.
Not that I’d change myself, but I’d try not to rub anyone the wrong way.
If I knew something will upset someone, I’d avoid it — I still do at times to be honest.
I’d withhold how I felt, or lie about why I couldn’t make it.
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I remember consciously having a goal to be liked by everyone.
I hated the idea of somebody disliking me — I’d even not pause at stop signs too long so I didn’t annoy the person behind me.
I was basically screaming out “I’M SELF-CONSCIOUS” through a megaphone.
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I felt icky, like this wasn’t the person I’m supposed to be— you feel it in your soul.
I observed the people in my life I respected the most.
My Dad was a good example — he always told people what they needed to hear.
They’d get mad and upset in the moment, but they’d always come crawling back.
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He just told me yesterday on the phone that he was at a table of some new people who were talking nonsense.
So he stood up, said “This conversation is useless to me” and left. I laughed when he said that.
Do those people like him? Definitely not. Apparently there’s gossip going around the Turkish community about him…I laughed at that too.
But he’s just saved himself a conversation he didn’t want to be a part of, and he’s saved the table from having someone who didn’t want to be there, and he’s saved himself from those indulging in the gossip.
My Dad has always given great advice, but the single best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten was:
“Eren Ol.”
He won’t stop saying it, he drilled it into my head.
When I got this message from my colleague (and friend) the other day, I felt Dad’s spirit smiling:
I hope this doesn’t come across as a brag.
I just wanted to show a before an after of me being a spineless, self-conscious kid to someone that is true to their belief systems.
I made the change by journaling everyday about:
whether or not I was honest
if I’d behaved congruently to my spirit (had I done what needed to be done?)
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If you don’t behave this way, you’ll spend half your brain power trying to compute things, and manipulate things, and blah blah blah—complete nonsense.
People-please and you’ll be rewarded with people and opportunities you don’t want anyway.
Try to be a tough guy, when really you’re a softy, and you’ll find yourself in a fist-fight you’re not equipped to be in.
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Being authentic, and acting in line with your spirit, is like using a sieve to find golden nuggets.
Get a big scooper, you’ll end up with lots of dirt.
Use the sieve and all you’ll have will be gold.
Why should we be interested in not upsetting anyone?
It doesn’t benefit us to have more dirt in our lives.
Apply your authenticity filter.
Filter out the people who won’t like the authentic you, and keep around the ones who sincerely do.
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If someone didn’t like me, I used to think:
“What’d I do wrong?”
Now I think:
“I guess we weren’t compatible”
Filtering them out of my life, frees up room for the ones who I’ll love one day.
Music
On an Island - David Gilmour
The chords in this song make you feel like you’re simultaneously doomed and going to be ok. Like you’re lost but about to be found.
Life (Adouna) - Youssou N’Dour
Senegalese singer, famous for the Senegalese genre mbalax. Fun fact, he served as Senegal’s minister for culture and tourism from 2012-13.
I found a remix of one of his songs from this album as a 12” record at Monster Robot Party - I went home and searched him up and was not disappointed.
Euphoria (a rave instant) - Das Druid
Das Druid is actually a Brisbane band, my buddy Greaves is a part of it. This song is my favourite from their debut album ‘Das Album’. Euphoria is a gradual build to a beautiful and sweet track that will have your feet tapping without you realising. When the kick came in I did a disgusted face, but in a good way.
Content Plug
This week I’ve been reading a book called “Thick Face, Black Heart” by Chin-Ning Chu.
I usually hesitate to recommend something I haven’t finished, but so far this book feels like it’s speaking directly to me.
If you enjoy self-improvement, without being too self-help finance-bro, you’ll really like this book.
Thick Face refers to the shield we protect ourselves with, and Black Heart, the spear we attack with.
Being a Thick Face, Black Heart practitioner is having the Warrior philosophy of ancient feudal warlords that is still applicable today. To be a ruthless but understanding, courageous but calculated.
I just finished a chapter where she speaks about being screwed over by someone, and manages to find a way she could have changed the outcome of the situation by behaving differently. She preaches that there is always something you can do.
That’s all for this week - it was a bit long but I felt it was all relevant and contributed to the message.
Thank you very much for reading - this takes a lot of work so I sincerely appreciate any support.
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Your man,
Eren
