The Albanian Man Rule — How To Focus On What Matters
Driving through the Alps in Albania taught me a new rule to focus my attention
Our life’s problems take up so much mental space.
There’s always something on our minds to complain and worry about.
But when I drove through the Albanian Alps, I saw some things that changed my worldview.
A new rule was born — a rule that has helped me enjoy life more, and worry less.
These things are distractions keeping you unsatisfied
Life presents you with many situations that are worth worrying about.
The real goal is to get rid of the things that aren’t worth worrying about.
Didn’t I wear this shirt the last time I saw them?
He didn’t reply to me, is he mad?
I didn’t hit my micronutrient targets today.
Will this post fit the theme of my Instagram?
All these kinds of issues create a stressful environment and take up mental space, sometimes without us even realising it. They slowly tense you up. It builds and builds in the background — like a calcifying pipe — until one day, it bursts.
I used to sleep with a clenched jaw. It’s things like this that build until there’s unnecessary pressure placed by ourselves onto our already stressful and complex lives.
It’s time to stop doing this to ourselves.
We don’t realise how much wasted energy goes into meaningless decisions day-to-day.
When I rented a car and drove through the mountains of Albania, I saw something that melted my useless worries away.
We coined it:
“The Albanian Man Rule”.
The Albanian Man Rule
As we drove through the mountains, Georgia and I saw people living monetarily poor lives. We saw men shovelling dirt to create roads, grandpas sharing a coffee over a game of chess, women carrying things bigger than them, farmers scything long grass, herding animals — you name it.
They herd goats, make coats or drive boats to make ends meet — a simple (but tough) life.
Their life experiences were so vastly different to mine, that my problems wouldn’t even enter a realm of possibility in their minds. My life is so far removed — so out of reach — that they couldn’t even comprehend my stresses.
Am I really wasting my life worrying about things these people don’t even know exist?
The Albanian man in the Alps is concerned about few things. His family, friends, and business. His only focus is maximising time with the people he loves.
What would he think about our problems? He’d probably laugh at the fact that decisions about clothing (or even something more structured, like career direction) stress me out.
He herds goats so that he can sell the milk and cheese to provide for his family. He drives a boat to make money to put food on the table. He doesn’t care about the brand of shirt that’s on his back, or which party he’s going to. He doesn’t care about his social media feed. He couldn’t care less.
It’s an insult to people like him, that someone like me worries about such issues.
We should run our problems through a new test:
Would the Albanian man in the Alps think the problems are ridiculous?
If so, it’s a silly concern.
Use the rule to worry about the right things
I’m not here to say that your issues are any less real — or stressful than the Albanian man’s.
Of course, our lives are different and our problems are relative. But this exercise just gives you a bit of gratitude for the essentials that someone might need. It gives a zoomed-out perspective on our issues.
The point is that there’s always a problem, a road bump, in the way. But do they really matter? Is it worth stressing yourself out about the random issues that only someone in the first world could have?
Like when you’re travelling and the accommodation you get isn’t up to par. It feels difficult in the moment. But imagine telling the Albanian Man that you’ve had a bad day because of that. He’d tell you to suck it up - you’re blessed enough to afford to go on a leisure holiday and explore other countries.
Put your problems through this Albanian man in the Alps’ eyes. Like pouring coffee over a filter, get rid of the junk that sits atop it.
If you have family health issues, he’d feel for you — yes. But if you’re not sure which photo to post, or which outfit to wear, he’d promptly take his cigarette out of his mouth and let out a belly laugh (showing his missing teeth), and call you crazy.
Free up some mental space. Try to keep this perspective and don’t worry too much about the problems. Remember, if you’re reading this on an iPhone or a laptop, we’re privileged enough to call these things our ‘problems’.
Thank you for reading.
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Without you reading, the message I’m passionate about flows into the ether. I just want to share what I learned with more people.
I wish I could’ve given past me these mindset shifts, so I’m trying to reach as far and wide as possible. Please share this post with someone who you think might enjoy it too.
Until next week,
Eren
