The Emptiness of Drifting Through Your Own Life
what happens to life when you start paying attention...
"The way to live is to realize that you are dreaming. Once you realize that, you can do anything."— Alan Watts
It’s a great tragedy to live without conscious thought.
The road went by, but I didn't drive it.
We can fall into seasons where we’re there, but not really there. And in severe cases, even lifetimes of this unconscious living.
A life that goes by without questioning what we're doing, why we're doing it or if it's even what we want at all. Getting from point A to B, but really you wanted to be at Z.
When we're not awake to life, we miss the chance to shape it.
When we stop noticing, we stop choosing. And when we stop choosing, we start drifting off track.
We do not get what we deserve from life when we’re just drifting through it.
Like reading a book while your mind wanders elsewhere.
The pages turn, but you haven't read a word.
When we’re mindlessly drifting through, we lose control. We become unrecognisable to ourselves. We live a life that feels foreign. We tolerate things we don't believe in. We’re more reactive. We’re too zoomed in — thinking our life is the whole universe.
Because we are not truly aware.
We are just there.
…
But when we take the wheel and consciously engage, the result is nothing short of magic.
You go from mindlessly turning pages to savouring words that could shifts your entire life perspective.
You go from drifting through life to creating a special experience that could change the lives of many.
You come alive when you pay attention
A beautiful life isn't full of moments, but a life where every moment is full.
A chess player can either mope when his pieces are taken,
or study the board with curiosity and strategy.
One can either go through a mediocre life,
or sit down at the end of each day to write and think about what they want, and what it will take to get there.
…
That presence is the difference.
When you're told to "stop and smell the flowers" — it isn't about flowers. It's about paying attention to what's in front of you.
An unconscious mind will shake its fist at traffic,
but a conscious mind will realise that the car it’s in is an engineering marvel. The conscious mind will realise how lucky it is to live in a time where it can get in a driving machine, turn the key and drive home.
While the unconscious mind is angry about how long it’s sitting in traffic,
the conscious mind revels in the fact that at the end of this long drive, their loving family, a hot shower and a dinner awaits them. They realise how lucky they are. They bask in it.
All while the unconscious mind wrestles with the world.
It’s such a shame to think of all the distracted minds out there (including our own from time-to-time) that can’t see the miracles in front of them.
If we don’t wake up and prioritise conscious thought, we miss the miracles. We let our default states govern us instead of realising that conscious thought is our greatest ability.
We forget we have a manual override for when we slip into autopilot.
A splash of cold water to break us out of our mindless ways.
…
It's all right here for us.
But only if we're here to see it.
Manual override — thoughts on how to be more conscious
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
— Oscar Wilde
There's an emptiness to living on autopilot.
If you've ever lived periods like this in your life, you'll understand the feeling of being dissociated from your deeper intentions. You'll agree it's not pleasant.
Having cues to regather can help you reset and return to the present.
When you're feeling a negative emotion — blue, sad, frustrated — it helps to remember you're not just a passenger — you're the pilot. You can wake up and take control.
Yes, your plane flies itself for the most part — your habits, emotions, instincts — but you can always go into manual override. Change course mid-flight.
You have the power to take control and snap yourself out of those unconscious and subconscious survival mechanisms (feelings) and create what's next. Not be told how your story goes.
Cues like these can be useful:
a physical cue — counting to 10 to recentre, taking deep breaths, touching a ring or;
a mental cue — reminding yourself that you are nothing more than civilised animal, and your stresses at work, bills and all the rest of it, are not serious at all. It’s against all odds that you’re even alive right now!
Whatever helps to return your thought to having purpose and intention.
You might even find it helpful to simply start gently noticing more — what you feel, what you like, what brings you joy.
And noticing doesn't mean fixing. Just paying attention is enough.
Do you like that feeling? Why — or why not?
Are you happy? Why — or why not?
You feel angry — why is that?
What about people — what kind of people bring you joy?
What activities make you feel alive?
Be in it.
Life is happening, and with just a bit more attention, you might find yourself truly in it. You might find yourself living a rich life, one with depth and intellect.
One where you don’t sit in traffic shaking your fist, but one where you marvel at all the miracles around you at all times.
When you're conscious and present, joy tends to show up in ways you never knew possible.
Sincerely,
eren
Follow me on Substack and LinkedIn for short bursts of motivation and peace, and to follow along on my journey of creating the world’s best in-person mindset workshop.
This was awesome Eren. I loved what you said about “going from A-B, but really wanting to be at Z.” I was journaling this morning about a very similar topic. This idea of being “somewhere” and wanting to get *there*, but needing to overcome a wall of crap first: misunderstanding from people in our life, feelings of alienation, naysayers, and more. It’s hard but not impossible.