The Only 3 Things All Happy People Have in Common
David cycled around the world to deliver this message
More, more, more.
The colour and beauty of your life are being bleached by your insatiable need for more.
The problem is that that ‘more’ is a carrot on a stick. You’ll never reach the point of enough.
A man who cycled across the world taught me the only 3 things he saw in all happy people — rich, poor and in between.
Here’s the thing: you probably already have them all
Here’s what you don’t need
Let’s start here.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a house full of stuff that you don’t really need. Clothes, shoes, gadgets and knick-knacks spill out of the cupboards.
Yet we still want more. We want that next fix of getting the new shiny thing, and we try to justify why we need it too. Me, I’m always on Marketplace trying to find my next toy.
I could use a new pen holder.
No amount of shirts, pants or shoes will ever make you feel fulfilled. Stop chasing such meaningless things.
If you’re reading this on a laptop or smartphone, you’ve probably got all the money you’ll ever need.
We think:
Once I see a million dollars in the bank account, I’ll be happy.
But let me fill you in on a secret that only the wisest people in the world know.
There’s no thing.
The moment in time when you climb over that hill and you’re finally happy doesn’t exist. There’s no dollar amount or item that once you attain it, you’re fulfilled.
Doesn’t exist. It’s a mirage in the desert — a false hope.
The only 3 things you need to reach before you’re happy, are probably already in your possession.
We’re just too privileged to notice them.
The 3 things
I was in Lagos, Portugal a few weeks ago. I decided to do a stand-up paddleboarding tour.
My instructor was an Australian guy called David. He literally jumped up and down with joy when I told him Georgia and I were Australian.
Speaking of jumping — David has quite a story.
From Hunter Valley, Australia — primed for a high jump Gold medal at the Olympics, Dave’s dream was cut short by a busted knee, and then a torn Achilles. He’d had the highs in his sights, and lived through the lows.
After working on boats around the world (and meeting his wife while doing it), he needed a change.
So, he did the natural thing anyone would do when they need a little spice in their life — he decided to cycle around the world.
He and Holly packed up their lives onto two bikes and off they went (their journey is documented at Nowhere2far on Instagram). The minimalism of “bike-packing” is extreme — I bet Dave could tell you a thing or two about what you don’t need.
David had a lot of lessons for me, but one stuck out in particular.
He’d been all around the globe, seen all tiers of wealth and from that, he extrapolated the only 3 things that the happy people had in common:
All over the world, people want the same things: shelter over their heads, food in their bellies and a few good mates around.
That’s it.
Shelter
Food
Relationships
That can’t be it, right? Sounds like a boring answer…
Well, it is.
We’ve been hypnotised by this illusion the modern world has designed for us.
We’re like children playing a video game.
I used to sit on the Xbox yelling and screaming at people through a screen, while my parents and sisters were sitting on the balcony chatting. I’ll never get those moments back. Probably the best chance I’ll ever get to spend time with my family all in one place — gone.
I was chasing an arbitrary reward when I’d already had the real reward all along.
Sound familiar?
Don’t focus on your career so much when it’s the relationships that your attention should be spent on. Forget about the fancy minimalist house in the pompous suburb when you’re already sitting in a small, cosy place with character. You don’t need to make enough to eat at that expensive restaurant, you’re lucky enough to have a fridge with food in it.
Money and possesions are forgettable - this is not
Are there different levels of wealth? Yes. I’m not suggesting that a single mother with three kids should stop whinging. Life can be challenging, and it’s full of tragedy.
But most of us have all we’ll ever need to be happy.
Maybe you can’t afford to own your own house right now, but being able to rent a roof for your family is enough. Being able to put food on the table is enough. Having meaningful relationships is enough.
Your kids will never remember the price of the meal they ate, they’ll remember sitting around the table laughing with their family.
My parents tell me that they wish they could’ve given us more — but I didn’t even realise there even was more. I was happy with the food I ate, the car we drove and the number of bathrooms in the house.
I can’t describe one meal I ate as a kid, I didn’t know a car was more than a thing with wheels, and I definitely didn’t care if we owned or rented a house.
What I can tell you is the time my Mum and I went to the park and threw the ball around, and how I didn’t catch it and it hit me in the face — we laughed a lot (I cried actually). Or when she used to sit down with me and play the Buzz Lightyear game on PS1 when the final boss was too hard for me.
I can’t tell you whose mum or dad was the highest on the corporate ladder, or who had the most money.
But I can tell you about how my Dad would cheer me on from the sidelines of every basketball game I ever played. And I can tell you about all the advice he gave me sitting out on the deck chairs together.
What I can also tell you is that I was never scared of not eating that night, or not having a roof over my head.
That’s all I needed. That’s all anyone will ever need.
It’s normal to feel like you want more
It’s healthy even. The constant pursuit is what gives us drive.
But you need to remember that you don’t need more to be happy. We are simple beings — we only need a few basic things. You just strive for more as a bonus to your necessities.
And don’t panic if your relationships aren’t where you’d like them to be right now — I’ve been there and you’ll be ok. Even if your family life isn’t stable, there are people out there that’ll become like family to you. Just trust the process and live authentically. Believe me.
Next time you feel sad or like you need something more — ask yourself if you’ve got shelter over your head, food in your belly and some good mates around you.
Only then can you realise your life is pretty damn good already.
Thank you for reading.
If you liked this newsletter, please like & subscribe if you haven’t already by typing your email below.
Without you reading, the message I’m passionate about flows into the ether. I just want to share what I learned with more people.
I wish I could’ve given past me these kinds of mindset shifts, so I’m trying to reach as far and wide as I possibly can. Please share this post with someone who you think might enjoy it too.
Until next week,
Eren
Nowhere2farSUP - Stand Up Paddleboarding Lagos, Portugal
It is a nice article. Very true. We are only simple human beings. There are only very few basic needs we have; shelter, food and a few good friends. :)