Why We Feel Things That Don’t Make Sense
the tension between survival and rationality
We all have moments where our actions surprise us. When we do things that don’t align with who we are.
Beneath our surface, ancient guidance bubbles — old instincts and rhythms steer us.
This guidance does not ask for permission.
It takes the wheel.
The pull of the ancient mind
Chelsea loves her boyfriend. But there is another man.
When she sees him, she feels something. An uninvited electric pulse surges through her chest. It doesn’t ask what she wants — it simply is.
But in her conscious mind, she resists because she loves her boyfriend.
He takes care of her and treats her well. She is happy and wants to have children with him.
But she can't help how she's feeling. And the source of that electricity is not her rational mind.
It's millions of years of ancestry and DNA at work.
An ancient pull that goes back to a time before civilization, when survival was a matter of instinct.
The nature of survival
The forest is cold, dark.
In your hand, a stick with a sharpened stone. You’re hungry, tired, but you must stay sharp. Every sound is a threat. There is no past, no future.
Only now.
In this moment, you have no dreams or goals. You aren't a doctor, an engineer. You’re neither successful nor unsuccessful.
You are just life.
No different from a wild dog, a worm in the soil or algae on the surface of a pond — and everything you think, feel, and do is in pursuit of your sole mission:
To continue.
That mission is the only reason you feel hungry and thirsty, desire sex, and seek the approval of others. Feelings are deeply programmed into your software to increase your odds of survival and continue the human race.
Your feelings have nothing to do with achieving your goals, and all to do with surviving.
Rationality is a struggle because survival is different now
"We are not the same humans who lived 10,000 years ago, but we still carry their fears, their desires, and their instincts." — Robert Greene
Chelsea feels the urge to leave her loving, caring boyfriend — with whom she wants to have children with — for a stoned drummer. Not because she is a horrible beast, but because she has outdated survival instincts.
Chelsea’s subconscious is still running an ancient program. It hasn’t had time to update.
The world has changed significantly but our programming hasn't.
We’ve surpassed the old goals, but our DNA still has some catching up to do. Some examples:
Reproduction
The human race no longer requires sheer numbers to last — it needs quality. We need children to be raised in safe, love-rich households where they can grow to contribute to society. But all this is overwritten by lust — the urge to reproduce that all animals have.Food
Our brains are not accustomed to having such easy access to unlimited food. We have not yet evolved to eat only what we need; our instincts still tell us to hoard food in case of a famine. And as a result, we see obesity rising globally.Anxiety
Anxiety cripples us because historically the person who was not liked was exiled from the tribe and left to fend for themselves — certain death. Now this is not a threat, yet we still feel anxious even when talking to someone in a low-risk situation.
It is not rational for young adults with no house, money or prospects to reproduce, it is not rational to eat three huge meals (with dessert) until we feel sick, and it is not rational to be scared of public speaking — yet these things happen to our race daily.
Why?
Because evolution takes millions of years, not tens or hundreds.
It's not that our feelings and thoughts were always irrational — they were an absolute necessity.
Our survival mechanisms simply haven't had time to make their way out of the human program. We've come so far as a race in such a short amount of time that the environment is completely foreign to our species.
Do not feel bad, for this is what you are
"To understand everything is to forgive everything." — Buddha
Self-hatred should be avoided at all costs.
You cannot control the instincts and urges that arise.
It’s not Chelsea’s fault that she feels that electricity, and it isn’t your fault when you feel animal urges like greed, jealousy or lust.
The worst thing we can do when we feel these urges is overthink them and judge ourselves.
Acknowledge them. Look at them through a survival lens. Let them be. Remind yourself it is as natural to feel these things as it is to feel hungry or thirsty.
Understanding yourself is the key to going easier on yourself, and going easier on yourself is one of the most important parts of living a happier life.
Feel the urge. See it for what it is. Let it pass.
Sincerely,
eren
Follow me on Substack and LinkedIn for short bursts of motivation and peace, and to follow along on my journey of creating the world’s best in-person mindset workshop.
Feeling good after reading this. Self acceptance & the acceptance of your biology as it is needed more than ever.