Your Truth Matters More Than Their Reaction
Moving beyond the people-pleasing desire of approval
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إِنَّمَا الأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّاتِ، وَإِنَّمَا لِكُلِّ امْرِئٍ مَا نَوَى
“Verily, actions are judged by intentions, and everyone will be rewarded according to what they intended.”
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 1)
You show up with good intentions. You try to do the right thing. But someone still walks away upset. And that hurts.
You hoped everyone would leave pleased. And they didn’t.
But there comes a moment in life when you realise: how they react isn’t always about you.
The Prophet’s Clumsy Prayer
A man says a clumsy prayer, stumbling through his words full of grammatical errors.
A scholar scoffs at his imperfect attempt, but the Prophet says,
“God heard the sincerity in his heart."
When their faces shape your worth
When we judge our actions on the reactions of others, we're playing a dangerous game where we cannot decide for ourselves if we've done the right thing.
It’s shaky to tie your peace to someone else’s mood. Someone having a bad day may react differently to a good day, even if their initial action is the same.
It reminds me of when my old colleague told our friend her outfit looked comfortable, and she was very offended. He felt upset and regretful. His intention was to compliment her.
I still think about it. How he meant well and walked away confused. Not because of what he said, but how it landed. It was not his words that upset her, it was her interpretation of them. Yet he still felt that negative emotion.
It’s worth noting how your words land with each person. This is empathy and emotional intelligence. A kind-hearted and wise person would consider this, not blindly ignore it just because their intentions were good. It certainly pays to be perceptive of how one interprets things.
But we shouldn't feel any guilt because of a reaction that was out of our control.
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I believe that the clumsy prayer with sincerity is more valuable than the scholar’s arrogant silence.
Your confidence in your actions is an important part of who you are
People-pleasing is a trait that many of us share, and the reason is obvious.
But you have no confidence if you can't find solace in your own intention and morality. You cannot stand on your decisions with pride.
And if you don’t have a point of view that you believe in, or confidence in your actions, what’s left to stand on?
If you let an angry person intimidate you out of the correct path, you've lost the Truth.
Or if you let a sad person make you feel guilty for something you haven't done, you've lost the Truth.
And what is the alternative? You do everything in hopes of a desired reaction? This is an unwinnable game.
Perhaps a referee makes a call in a basketball game — one team is pleased, the other is not. How should he judge his call? He is stuck!
He must focus on the Truth.
Did he intend to do the right thing, and did he do his best with the information he had?
If yes, he should sleep peacefully knowing he did the right thing, no matter what the reaction was.
Final Thoughts
Don't go through life without confidence in your decision-making. Trust yourself more. Lean into your intentions. Consider the reactions as information — and tailor your approach for more success — but do not judge yourself on them.
Pursue the Truth as much as possible. Have confidence and keep trying to do the right thing. Let that be enough.
When you live from that place of clarity, the space around you no longer feels like war. You’re not fighting anymore.
You’re just walking forward.
Sincerely,
eren
Music of the week
A mixed bag of things I’ve been listening to — and that have been stuck in my head!