Your Unique Groove: How Music Preferences Explain Our Individuality
Can our music taste teach us to be authentic?
“Be yourself.”
Maybe the most played out advice of all time.
But maybe the most important too.
Without a firm grasp on who you are — who you actually are — you’ll go through life like a robot:
No strong opinions
No moral compass
No individuality.
When you become like everybody, you become nobody.
The importance of individuality is hard to grasp. Our brains are wired to conform to the norm.
But we’ve been looking at it the wrong way.
Yes — we should assimilate into the tribe — but we all need our own role within it. We don’t want everyone filling the same role. That’d be a useless tribe.
So how do we be ourselves? What does that even mean?
Looking deeply at our taste in music will help us actualise the age-old advice.
Here’s how music taste explains who we are, and shows the path for finding our purpose on Earth.
Music taste — the pinnacle of individuality
Everyone has a unique taste in music.
They love certain songs for no apparent reason.
We like and dislike song of the same genre
We like particular instruments, frequencies and sounds
Why is that? What decides whether or not we like a piece of music?
Taste in music is difficult to describe — words can’t encapsulate its essence. But if you know music, you know how unique everyone’s taste in music is.
This bodes the question:
Where does your music taste come from?
You could argue that your dad, your older brother or some other influence in your life showed it to you — but they’re introducing you to it, whether or not you stay and enjoy is different story.
Music taste is a direct metaphor for our individuality.
It’s innate. You don’t choose your music taste —and you don’t choose your personality.
Of course some people (myself included) have allowed outside forces — whatever is cool and trendy — to influence what they listen to. But your core music taste just is what it is.
And you just are what you are.
Don’t turn your gentle, ambient self into death medal to appease the metal heads.
Don’t listen to pop hits because that’s what you’re “supposed” to like
Don’t turn your music down when you’re at a red light because you feel embarrassed for listening to it
There are no ‘guilty pleasures’, no right or wrong choices when it comes to your music taste. You simply like what you like — it’s innate.
You should never ever be ashamed of your music taste.
Just as you should never ever be ashamed of who you are.
There’s no song that everyone likes
I was DJing a party one time, and I had people coming up to me telling me how great it sounded.
I felt good. I was killing it! I was an unstoppable musical force!
The disco ball was shimmering. People were dancing, having a great time.
And then a girl came up and said:
“Are you ever going to play something good?”
Ouch :)
But what I learned in that moment was that I can’t look into the crowd and think I’m going to make every single person in there happy. Unless you’re popular enough that people buy a ticket expecting your sound, you’ll never appease them all.
My favourite quote my Dad has ever said to me — and if you read my writing, you’ve heard it before:
People even threw stones at Jesus.
The man who could do no wrong!
So, who do I think I am that I can play a song to make everyone happy?
And who do you think you are, that your personality will be liked by everyone on Earth?
Your personality — like your music taste — is predisposed. It can change over the years. It wades and wafts around as you go through different phases in life, and expose yourself to new things.
But the core of it — the deep and undeniable truth of it — will never change.
The same force that controls your personality, controls your music taste. I believe that in my bones.
The observer within you, reading these words right now, is who decided what you like and dislike. It’s your soul. It’s the crux of you. Not the flesh and bones that take you around the room — I’m talking about the REAL you.
Yes, you.
The Jazz Bar
Picture a snazzy, dimly lit bar playing Jazz music.
The owner and the staff love jazz music. They live it, breathe it. The bar is jazz music through and through. Fuck it, let’s go — it’s even called ‘The Jazz Bar.’
Now, do you think ‘The Jazz Bar’ gets many customers through who hate jazz? Do you think any heavy metal listeners or drum and bass fans are going to be drawn to ‘The Jazz Bar’?
That’s right — nice work — I didn’t even have to give you the answer, you worked that one out.
But you know who will be drawn to ‘The Jazz Bar’?
You got it again — you’re getting good at this. I might as well stop writing, you’re gonna guess the whole article.
As that jazz music blares through the streets, and the bartenders snap their fingers in rhythm while making that jazz face, jazz lovers from all over town will start to flock to ‘The Jazz Bar’.
(Take a shot every time you read the word Jazz)
And that is exactly how we should be living our lives.
You are ‘The Jazz Bar’ — and you always have been.
Turn your volume up — not down
We should be blaring the music of ourselves through the streets, attracting those with similar taste — and dissuading all who don’t like it.
Not everyone’s gonna like you, but that doesn’t mean you should change.
They can just skip the song. They can find someone else. There’s no way to appease everyone’s taste — nor should you.
It’s not the breadth of reach that’s important, it’s the depth.
Remember that.
You know that song that just hits right? The song that you’re entranced by. The one that perfectly hits the spot — right in the intersection of all your music taste quirks. The song that never gets old.
You are that song to some people out in the world.
To:
Your family
Your best friends
The people who look up to you.
Your partner (or future partner)
You’re their EXACT song that perfectly fits their taste — and what a shame it’d be if you never truly let your personality run rampant.
You’d never be able to find the people who love jazz music.
All that exists is the truth — the truth of who you are, the truth of your taste.
There are no ‘guilty pleasures’
There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’
There’s no ‘should’s
All there is, is you.
You should never be ashamed of that.
You should never turn the volume down so not to stand out.
You should turn the volume up — and let the lovers of your frequency flock toward you.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this if you got here.
I put a lot of time and effort into these newsletters - I hope they help you as much as they help me.
Ideas like this genuinely do make self-improvement more interesting and simple to me, and my aim is just to share that with you.
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Sincerely,
Eren
