You’re Not Too Old, Too Busy, or Too Late
Quieting our internal critic and liar
“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.”
— Chinese Proverb
You’ve told yourself a thousand times you want to learn a language, learn an instrument or learn how to crochet. And yet, here you are — still waiting to make a start.
You tell yourself you’re too old, that you need to buy something, or that you don’t have time — all lies. Your internal voice lies. It tells you convenient half-truths to keep you from doing something with your life.
And a life without something, is nothing.
Imagine being 85, looking back at a life full of nothing. Looking back at a life where you told yourself you weren’t good enough or that you didn’t have time…
I’ve started to learn guitar this year after I finally admitted 27 was in fact not too old to learn something new!
For years I convinced myself you had to start as a kid or you wouldn’t be able to learn. I guess I was trying to stop myself from doing something that required effort. Something that I wanted.
And it made me wonder what else I lie to myself about… What about all the times I told myself I wasn’t a good basketball player, or that I wasn’t a good engineer? What if they were all lies to keep my ego from being crushed? What if I’ve been lying to myself so that I wouldn’t have to sit, learn, practice and suck at something?
I feel as though I’ve been lying to myself for so long, I’m not sure what’s a lie anymore.
But I don’t want to buy into that — any neither should you.
Why should we stop ourselves in case something goes wrong, in case we don’t succeed? I want to do everything with faith and let the failure come if it does.
I hope this article shows you how much you limit yourself, how much you lie to yourself, and gives you the confidence to become what you want to be in life.
The Man Who Was Too Cold to Light a Fire
(an old Russian folktale)
A traveller, freezing in the snow, refuses to gather wood for a fire.
“I’ll start once I warm up,” he says.
He doesn’t realize that warmth will only come after he takes action.
How does it feel to sit in the cold and wait?
How does it feel to know nothing will change unless you do something?
You become numb, and you lose hope.
A dull pain.
The Catch and Flip Method — how to stop yourself from slipping away
“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.” — Richard Feynman
What has helped me is this Catch and Flip method:
1. Catch the lie
You need to catch the lie you’re telling yourself — this is the most important part.
Work on being honest with yourself 100% of the time. No small lies. It’s OK to admit the lie — it’s quite refreshing actually.
For example, if you want to skip your workout, that’s fine — just admit that you don’t feel like it — don’t make up a lie to yourself about how you shouldn’t go because you don’t want to get too muscular or something silly like that.
Once you work on that skill in the small moments, you’re able to spot the lies in the big moments.
Like when I have self-doubt at work — I’m getting better at stopping and thinking about whether it is true, or whether it’s coming from that self-loathing part of our character.
Pratice this. It’s important.
So now that you’ve admitted the lie, you can move onto the next step.
2. Flip it
Take the lie, and treat it like a friend is telling it to you.
How would you encourage them to forego it?
If a friend told you that at 27 they were too old to learn guitar, you could easily shut silly thought down with logic and evidence.
If a friend told you they felt ugly, useless and subpar, you could easily give them 100 reasons why the opposite is true.
Be that for yourself.
It’s hard to give ourselves good advice.
It’s much easier to give advice to someone else — so use that truth of life to your advantage by flipping your lies and giving “your friend” advice.
I will leave you with a quote for you to think about over the weekend, and for the next time you hesitate or don’t feel good enough:
“If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” — Vincent Van Gogh
Sincerely,
eren
Follow me on Substack and LinkedIn for short bursts of motivation and peace, and to follow along on my journey of creating the world’s best in-person mindset workshop.
I truly believe you are never too old to learn to play the guitar. I picked it up at 60. I am now 68 and play at open mics and shows. Playing with other musicians that have been doing it all their lives. I take college courses about music technology on a senior wavier. And. Ow I am taking Piano lessons. You are never too old. Ever.